Riding in the rain lowered my mood faster than any other activity. Humans had invented shelter and then occupied it because having water dripping down your neck and dampening your trouser seat felt utterly dreadful. When that trouser seat also rubbed and chafed...

“Absolutely not. Look at me! I don’t need a nursemaid. I’m a mage, a perfectly competent adult, I’m, I’m tall, for fuck’s sake—” “You’re a mage who can’t use his magic, and you’re a prince, which means you require a royal guard if you wish to stray outside the gates....

Parking didn’t pose a challenge in this sleepy little northern California beach town, but I pulled into a spot a block down from my destination anyway. Better to keep a low profile. My mark’s place of employment, the Chipper Bean, was the only business on the block...

In my experience, private casino back rooms were plush, quiet oases, well stocked with top-shelf liquor, with absurdly attractive staff on call to cater to my every whim. Chairs so comfortable you could sleep in them, or even fuck on them—the staff really would cater...

Three men sat at the bar, none of them the one I’d come to meet—or at least I sincerely hoped so. Two had to be my father’s age or older, while the third sported some unholy fusion of a mullet and a man-bun. No position as a CEO would be worth having to look at that...

For what felt like weeks, I drifted. Hands moved me and rearranged my floppy limbs, voices echoed through my hollow mind. I lay on something soft, a change from before—I thought so, at least. Sometimes I felt a little warmer or a little cooler. But nothing hurt. Even...